Pain of creative change and transition
Creative life and connecting with you true artist within is so much more than sitting in your studio with paper and art supplies. I deeply believe once you had started being genuinely involved in process of making art it goes so far beyond that. It becomes your self development project and in result your life starts being devoted to digging deeper into the creative voice and it is not one off happening. It is the process of constant renewal, where you go from one stage to another all the time: ready to try, fail, accept and move on.
Until end of last year I was not able to devote a decent amount of time to my creative hunger. Even now I still have "job", have a family and typical “busy” life with social commitments. However after making a massive adjustment to my lifestyle that was downgrading from a corporate job, swapping driving to work for walking and basically making my life simpler, I managed to connect with my art more. I found time and energy to start Subconscious Collage project, built my small blog and keep filming my art journaling adventures in series of different clips. There was a move within as well from creating on occasional basis to making it my lifestyle and a top priority. It was like a new and refreshing wave to me and kept me going all the time. But in last months I noticed I got to the point of being kind of “stuck”. Stuck in the way I created, the flow of the process has started gradually loosing its power. At the same time I achieved some kind of skill of quick and confident creating but was not satisfied with it like in the beginning. I think this is the moment everyone does experience, not only on creative level. You got somewhere and managed to get on certain step but now can see that there is another step in front of you. There are two options now: will I start uncertainty of climbing the next step or will I stay safe and comfortable where I am? This is the question of change and transition. That question of asking for bravery again and again, the pain of deciding to go out of the comfort zone again. There is no growth without taking that risk and pain of failure. And let's be honest-there will be a failure- only failing can teach you how to fly! My latest art journal pages are the tiny and unsure step forward. Sticking my finger out and seeing what is out there. Where do I want to go, how deep can I dig? Or rather how do I want to make it happen? There is lots of self-questioning, resisting to go back to what feels familiar but at the same time trying to be authentic and not giving up on an inner voice. What a tricky game! Wish me luck!
This week be prepared for some uncertainty!
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