Creative life (31)
Some time ago, probably a while ago you were a child happily playing with toys, crayons, sticks or whatever you found in your environment. Maybe you were enjoying splashing in puddles or creating monsters from clay. Whatever you were doing there is one thing- you definitely enjoyed it. But do you remember it? Probably now you do, once you reading it, but in you current life- in the middle of never ending drama of adulthood you forgot. What you truly forgot is not actually the activity but the sense of joyful playfulness it brought into your life. The state of being there, just being without a worry about why/what for/what if. Where is that all gone now?
Our daily life, what is here on the surface is only a mere part of the whole …The big chunk of our thoughts and mind functions is hidden in subconscious part.
Subconscious part-the one we rarely dig in, deep container of desires, fears and psychological patterns as well as beliefs is the hardest part to access when we are tangled in tasks of mundane life, pulled towards pointless conversations or trying to be the helper of the world.
Creativity comes and goes...the muse never really belongs to us for long periods of time. However we keep creating and asking for her, if no response we shout and wait...And we wait and wait as her asbsence is prolonged. After quite few conversations with various artist I noticed that we know so little about the period of let's call it "quiet creativity". Those moments that some call tortures, other just lack of inspiration. But if we just look at that from a different angle we can actually start kind of enjoying those less or zero productivity moments... The first and simple rule is "stop comparing with others"!
As creativity gradually shifted me from work in a solitude mode (that I still love) more towards work with people I noticed that some stories are being told many times. Many people find themselves and their creativity in the moment of life when they search for..themselves. Like years of playing role of not fully aligned with their inner desire, they got tired of it and looked for lost treasure of creativity to bring the core aliveness back to them. We not talking only about people experiencing existential crisis of middle age, nearly retired or those with empty nest syndrom. Yes them to,o but also a big chunk of people from diverse environments, age groups, life situations and beliefs that suddenly stopped, turned their head back and asked- why and how do I find myself again? So they had opened to possibilities of self-creativity in order to find the lost authenticity regardless how long ago it seemed to be missing from. However as they embarked the intensive search for themselves to fully find the true self, they have to loose the ego of self...The paradox of true creativity!
"One day you simply give up or quietly walk away from all that what creates disturbances for your soul. You will find the peace within, beyond Self, somewhere there without worry about yourself or those around. You will become the creator of the world in that very moment regardless of the centuries of past and vast unknown of the future. Whatever you choose- paint, pencil, brush, crayon, pen...You just simply and amazingly become a part of a bigger reality flowing like a fluid of life through your mind. And that is when you tasted the true creativity and there is no way back". -from "Praying to my crazy mind diary"- a small notebook with my random thoughts:)
"Without great solitude, no serious work is possible"- Picasso
Creating needs solitude, actually creativity flourish in the state of being around nobody else... In the era of social media sharing obsession, constant accessibility and “knowing all about everybody” I am totally lost and searching for the forgotten magic of solitude. It is a paradox of creative mind to swing between the demand of being “social” and running into the solitude asylum.
Creative rhythm is something I have been discovering recently and fascinates me more and more. Maybe that phrase does not really exist but there is something about the pattern in creative process, the way it comes and goes and conditions as well as the sequence of it. Flow is more like a state of mind when the creativity flourish at its peak but the creative rhythm is more like a personal map built around time and cycle of creativity with equally high and low intensity. Personal creative rhythm is the step to see the freedom of your capabilities, ability to tune into it rather than being frustrated by constant fluctuation. It is like taking a boat on the seas and letting the waves rock you but still steer towards the island of creation...
I smell pencils- yes that is true. When the metal box is open I am not able to control myself- the old fashion mixture of a graphite and wood can awake so much in my mind. A big part is the childhood memories- wooden pencils were a desirable object in communistic Poland before 1989. Kids cherished the box of pencils like a treasure of the highest level. There are lots of other crazy things I do around my creative interests but they are all not socially damaging I suppose...At least that is what I like to think! All my reflexion about some of those crazy (or just perfectly normal behaviours) came to mind when I explored the subject of...oil painting. Why? because I came across a very "serious" art page. You know so serious that I almost died of instant boredom and went to autopilot "I am reading but I do not know what I am reading anyway". It just dawned on me that creativity does not always equal art but at the same time there is no fascinating art without true creativity...
Every creative knows the term "creative block". The moment of stoppage when creative flow seems to be the past, there is a lot of quiet time with lacking of any inspiration- shortly speaking the pain of not being able to enjoy creative process like before. From time to time I find myself there too. It is a rather dark moment of painful realisation that creativity left me, making my life hell and the future is...dark...very dark. Many times it happened, many time it will return. Recently I had a deeper reflection on the purpose of that blockage. Or maybe more like the real reason it happens...
It always makes me wonder how creatives choose what to create. Why some would be paining the same object/style over and over and some despite great technical skills for let's say realistic opt for very abstract or simple form of expression. what is then "pure expression". Is it nicely presented object to please the audience and gather "oh, ah" or something that comes from within?